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Some Basic Facts About Me

From 0 to 26 I lived in a blighted landscape surrounded by weirdness, chaos, and increasingly strange behavior. It explains a lot about why I am the way I am.

I've had years of therapy. It's helped a lot.

I probably need more therapy. Just sayin'.

I lived at home until I was 26.

I am an introvert and a homebody.

I am definitely an Elinor and not a Marianne. (Sense and Sensibility) Sometimes I really wish that I was a Marianne. The Marianne's of the world definitely seem to have more fun.

I have never been to a "club". Now ask me if I regret it. No.

I have large feet for a woman. Not Peggy Hill large, but still ...

I am obsessive about cleaning my ears. 

I love to sing and I've been told that I'm very talented. (God, that reminds me of that quote from Mrs. Elton, that obnoxious woman in Emma ("My friends say that I can certainly make a sandwich, ahem ..")

I don't like to sing for people because I'm very self conscious.

I'm kind of a weirdo. I'm OK with that. 

I don't make close friends very easily, I'm cautious and mistrustful and I hold people off at a distance until I am absolutely sure of them. 

I seem to reach milestones and accomplishments in my life at a glacial pace. (See "I lived at home until I was 26"). This is probably because I'm overly cautious. I also procrastinate. A lot.

I have started to notice some white hairs popping up where I part my hair. They are a completely different texture from my normal hair texture and they freak me out a little bit. 

I hate wearing makeup. Well, I hate taking the time to put on makeup and then I inevitably rub my eyes and smear it. I also never remember to reapply lipstick and spend the day looking unfinished, so I rarely make the effort to wear it.

I hate making a big effort to fix my hair and I hate using "products", as a consequence I usually look like I just dragged a comb through my hair after rolling out of bed. This is because I typically just drag a comb through my hair after rolling out of bed.

I think that I look much nicer when I make the effort to put on makeup and do my hair.

I really struggle with depression and to a somewhat lesser extent, anxiety. 

I struggle with feeling worthless. It's getting better every year though. Yay Bupropion!

I have a best friend, her name is Val and she is like the big sister that I never had. She takes care of me and looks after me in a way that I had never experienced before I met her. She taught me how to love myself and reminds me that I am not worthless. She values me and by valuing me taught me how to value myself. I love her.

My best friend is also my employer, I think that she pays me way too much but I'm definitely not complaining.

In High School everyone thought I was really smart because I lugged piles of books with me wherever I went, in reality it was because I was too lazy to trek back and forth to my locker after every period.

I hate getting up in the morning and typically hit the snooze about 10 times before I get up. My husband hates this and yet I still do it.

I am not a morning person and I am usually in a grouchy, uncommunicative stupor for at least an hour.

I hate talking on the phone.

I am nosy.

I hate clutter and cannot tolerate piles of stuff everywhere.

I am a night owl and I usually don't fall asleep until after 1:00 in the morning.

I am bulimic and have been since since I was 15 years old. Most of the time I have it under control but when I'm under a great deal of stress I still struggle with it.

I used to be a real neat freak but I've relaxed a lot since I started living with my husband. If you live with someone who has ADD and can't leave a room without leaving at least 2 drawers and a cupboard open, you have to learn to cope or go crazy and be a mean hag most of the time. I've chosen to cope.

I'm still a very organized person but now I channel it into my work. 

Music from the 80's usually makes me feel sad and detached. It wasn't a happy time in my life. I especially cannot bear to listen to anything by The Cure.

I am not close to either of my parents, but I love them very much.

I have hypothyroid disorder and for years I wondered why I was always tired, even after sleeping 10 hours a night. After I was diagnosed in 2002 and received medication I understood what normal was supposed to feel like, it was glorious.

I don't waste my time with people that are hateful, judgmental or self righteous. Life is too short.